Love in the Upper Room

“Now there was leaning on Jesus’ bosom one of His disciples, whom Jesus loved. Simon Peter therefore motioned to him to ask who it was of whom He spoke” John 13: 23-24

This is the first of two times it is mentioned that John was the disciple Jesus loved. It was during this scene that Jesus reminds us of His steadfast love for His own. There are three personalities we can examine during this time. St John was present to enjoy the love of Christ by leaning over His heart and recognizing how much Jesus loved him. St Peter was also there and could love the Lord with all his heart, but trusted more in his own love for the Lord, rather than resting in Christ’s love for him. Finally, Judas was also there, without any trace of love for Jesus. Next to him was the money sac with which he would betray Him and inside of him was the devil. He was ready to betray his master and go to his sad dark destination.

The Lord had just finished washing the feet of His disciples and was about to address His great last words for them when His spirit was troubled inside Him because of the presence of the betrayer among this holy assembly. Jesus said, “One of you will betray me,” and the disciples started looking towards each other in awe, but none were able to know who it was that would betray the Lord.

This same thing happens when we turn to each other when questions, problems or disputes arise amongst us. We end up confused and anxious. True healing happens when we look towards the Lord for a miracle. But this can only be done when we are very close to Him, so close that we are resting our heads on His bosom. It was only the one who allowed Christ to wash his feet and leaned over His heart enjoying His love, who was able to ask what everyone else wanted to know. He is the disciple who dared to ask, “Lord, who is it?” St Peter, who trusted in his own love for the Lord, was not close enough to ask and know the mind of Christ, and because of this asked St John to do so.

The amazing thing about God’s love is how it is so different from our own. Although our love for the Lord is very precious towards Him, it is variable and always changing. Christ’s love is steadfast, unconditional and unchanging towards us. We should learn to lean on Jesus’ love the way that St John did. We must be confident in this love and fearless when we approach Him.

In this great time of fasting let us trust, rest and enjoy Jesus’ steadfast love so that we will be close enough to His dear heart and mind,  to be a means of reconciliation and healing in His Church.